cheapseats

First off, I’d like to formally apologize to the five or six people that were waiting with baited breath to see the conclusion of the college football playoff. I would’ve never taken over such a task if I had known that it would cut into my time already allocated to my real job and my prevailing laziness.  For those that care, I had Colt McCoy and Texas winning the whole thing. Best part: No way you can prove me wrong!

With no real smooth transition to The Baseball Hall of Fame selections,  I’d just like to point out how much I love the nearly seamless transition from Monday Night Football to Big Monday and college basketball. For the past few years I haven’t even had to change up the channel rotation! The habit is completely locked in! And you now see that prevailing laziness I was talking about before! But enough about college basketball for now…

For the most part, the Hall got it right. Rickey Henderson was a first ballot guy, no doubt about it. I personally am hoping to make it for the induction for his acceptance speech alone.

Jim Rice though? Having to wait 15 years? Really? Did Rice really get that much better 20 years after he retired? Truth is he didn’t. Rice deserved to get his induction call well before the last year. The fact that he had to wait so long–and Andre Dawson, Ron Santo, and a litany of others are still waiting–is just idiotic.

Rarely am I a man to present a problem without much of a solution and after pontificating about how the selection process sucks, I feel like you deserve one…

…So here you go:

Look, sportswriters are sportswriters for a reason. I know this because I used to be one…and I was one because I couldn’t be an athlete.  So when we got the chance to talk to the athletes that we always regard as heroes it was a big deal…we made a life around it. Then we found out that these heroes were actually just people and in being people, some of them can have a tendency to be less than nice…especially when they are super competitive and just lost a game.

Sportswriters take this–and their generally pathetic pay wages–and become bitter. So when they get a Hall of Fame vote, they take it out on the guys that didn’t treat them right. In the end, deserving players get left out by a bunch of old men trying to get back at guys that ignored them years ago.

My point–and I promise I have one–is that these guys have the entire vote! So let’s go ahead and cut that down to 1/3.

To get rid of the bitter-heads that are only out to ruin the post-career lives of certain players, we make them pass a test. Make them explain why they are voting a player “no” beyond the simple, “This guy called me names a few years ago.” If they can’t, they’re out…for good.

So since we cut the sports writers down to just 1/3 of the vote, who get’s the other 2/3’s? So glad you asked!

1/3 goes to the veterans committee. Nice and simple there. Not much explanation required except that it strips some of the older blow-hards of that “holier than thou” attitude.

The final third? Give it to the fans. We’re the one’s that care about these players when they play; we’re the ones that care about them afterwards and we’re the one’s that go to visit them at that Hall of Fame. Doesn’t it stand to reason that we should have some say in who is in there? Fans would have to register for voting at MLB.com and only 1,000 fans would be selected to vote at random every year. Call it the “a person is incredibly smart, but people are rather stupid” rule. In other words, it keeps large masses of fans from rising up and voting popular but ultimately undeserving players from getting in.

All three parties will have their votes tallied separately. The three different percentages must average 75%. If it doesn’t, said player has four more years. That’s it. Four. Fifteen is just too long and unfair to the players waiting for that call.

And there ya have it:

So far I’ve fixed college football and the Baseball Hall of Fame voting process. I’m getting good at this!

What’s next?

I don’t know, really. Global warming?

Nah, I’m thinking I’ll just go after the whole ”one and done” thing going on with college basketball these days…  

Finally we will get some closure to this first round! No more power outages. No more naked men streaming on my work laptop. Just the final 3 games of the first round.

Without further delay…

(2) Oklahoma v. (15) Buffalo:

Fox did the right thing on paper making this the early game. Statistically, Oklahoma should’ve had Buffalo dead to rights. The Sooners, fresh off scoring 60 points in their last five games were going against one of, if not the weakest defense in the tournament.  Everyone agreed that if the Bulls punted, or even failed to make the end zone even once, it would spell the end of the game.

Gill, a man of many miracles.

There’s a funny thing about teams like Buffalo, though: Teams that are just learning the joys of success are rarely eager to let it go.

Buffalo got the opening kick and proceeded to produce a long, methodical, drive with 4 to 5 yard runs and precision 7-1o yard passes to receivers Naaman Roosevelt and Brett Hamlin. The shocked Sooner defense found themselves on their heels and down 7-0 after a Drew Willy sneak from the 1-yard line.

To add to the headache, the Oklahoma’s video game offense came out flat. Perhaps it was a Heisman hangover. Maybe it was simply that the Sooners were looking past the Bulls. Either way, a holding penalty, a false start, and two dropped passes gave the ball back to Buffalo.

Oklahoma managed to keep Buffalo out of the end zone, but not off the scoreboard as UB managed a 27-yard field goal to close out the first quarter.

After a strong return, Sam Bradford began to gash the Bulls defense for large chunks of yardage. Just when the football universe was about to return to normal, Juaquin Iglesias lost a fumble at the 13 yard line.

With Turner Gill knowing that his defense simply would not stop Bradford and the Sooners much more on the evening, the Bulls pulled out every trick play in their book before James Starks made the score17-0 from 6 yards out.

Oklahoma did manage to get on the board before the half when Iglesias accounted for his blunder by scoring on a 60 yard strike from Bradford.

The second half began the same way the first half ended, with Bradford tearing the Buffalo defense apart. A DeMarco Murray touchdown brought Oklahoma within 3…

…But a funny thing happened on the way to Oklahoma’s dramatic comeback win: They couldn’t stop James Starks. Starks and the Bulls offense remained content to run the ball for 6-7 yards at a pop in an attempt to hang on for dear life. Drew Willy connected with Gary Rice to open the gap back up to 10.

The Sooners fired back with two unanswered touchdowns to take a 28-24 lead with only 1:05 remaining in the 4th quarter…

…But the Bulls had been here before this season and Drew Willy knew what to do. Willy drove the Bulls to their own 47 yard line to bring up a 4th and 2 with :38 remaining and one time out left.

The comparisons to Boise State ended when Buffalo won the game with no trickery at all. It was a draw play to Starks on that 4th and 2. Starks bounced to the outside and sprinted to the end zone.

Oklahoma’s last ditch effort fell short at the Buffalo 42 yard line. Driving easily, they simply ran out of time. Buffalo shocked the world, beating Oklahoma 31-28 in one of the largest upsets in college football history.

(Side note: Yes…I am biased…if you want Oklahoma to win, then get your own blog!)

(7) Penn State v. (10) Ohio State:

Once again, Big Ten fans were outraged when the all important Joe-Pa versus the Sweater Vest was relegated to FX only because one of the most incredible moments in all of college sports was taking place at the same time. They were even more upset when Kenny Albert, Daryl Johnson and Tony Siragusa just would not shut up about the Buffalo upset. It was hard to believe that another game was even happening!

This match up was completely different from the first that ended in a 13-6 win for the Nittany Lions.  With Daryll Clark playing the whole game, Ohio State never stood a chance against a team on a mission to get that national title for Joe Paterno. It was 17-0 at the half.

Terrelle Pryor managed to make a few plays for Ohio State and to keep the game interesting into the 3rd quarter, but the Penn State defense proved to be too strong. Joe-Pa and the Nittany Lions held on to win 24-14.

(3) Texas v. (14) East Carolina:

If there was one team that nobody was willing to overlook, it was Skip Holtz’ Pirates.  Not only was Colt McCoy pissed about losing the Heisman, but the entire team was a little miffed about being seeded below a team that just lost to Buffalo. Add to this that the win would grant the Longhorns another crack at Texas Tech, and you can see where this game is going.

McCoy performed surgery on ECU, going into the half with a 28-6 lead. McCoy threw for two and ran for one.

Patrick Pinkney was able to find Dwayne Harris on the opening drive of the second half, but ECU would get no closer than 28-13.

Texas closed out the first round games with a 35-16 win.

I know that with a simple look at the calendar will tell you that I am writing about the Friday games on Saturday and I’m sorry. Here are my excuses in the order in which they happened.

1. The Bears game was on Thursday night: This one got me to thinking: I had to watch a stream of this game on line, which is technically stealing. But is it really stealing if you don’t get the NFL network to begin with? I say no. I think I’m going to be okay here. On a side note with that stream, I’d like to thank that first degenerate that gave me a bum link to the game. I was treated to swinging man junk on my work laptop. I’m not kidding. Now normally I would say shocking an unsuspecting party with tube steak flying around to the beat of “You Spin me Right ‘Round” by Dead or Alive would be rather amusing…but if this stunt makes me a full-time $1 per post, .01 per 5 hit blogger, I’ll find you with my last quarter tank of gas and punch you in the face.
2. I didn’t have power for most of yesterday. No crap here. Check the news. Ice storm in Albany, NY. Northeastern U.S. winter weather. Catch the fever!

On to the games…

For the Friday games, Fox had to take an approach similar to the one that CBS takes for the basketball tournament in March: Staggered starts. They wanted to keep them all separate, but that would’ve prompted either a 3 p.m. Friday start or a 12:30 a.m. Saturday start. Fox wisely opted for the staggered start and moving the less competitive game to FX because even Joe Buck needs to get some sleep.

(1) Florida v. (16) Troy:

Fox’s reasoning behind making this the 7 p.m. start was a simple one. It could get moved to FX without much fuss because it realistically wouldn’t be competitive by the start of the 8:15 game…

…and they were right.

It was a match up between the winners of arguably the best conference in the country against the consensus worst conference. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see how this one panned out. There was even talk that Tim Tebow and Percy Harvin would spend the entire game with one leg tied to each other like a three legged race to make it a bit more evenly matched. Unfortunately, the resulting illegal formation penalties would’ve made such a move impossible.

Instead, Tebow, Harvin, and the rest of the Gators just put it on Troy, taking a 38-0 lead at the half. It could’ve been 42-0 but Urban Meyer took mercy at the half and kicked a field goal and second and goal from the 2.

Troy was at the game. They played and they tried their best. But RB DuJuan Harris never stood a chance against a defense that was just twice his size and twice as fast. He had 19 yards on 22 carries.

Tebow didn’t finish the game. He was benched halfway through the third with a 48-0 lead. He was seen reading Kurt Vonnegut on the sidelines like Johnny Moxon from Varsity Blues.

Florida began taking a knee in the fourth quarter and mercy killed Troy 51-7.

(8) Utah v. (9) Boise State:

Many viewed putting the two teams with the best chance of an upset over some of the old guard BCS powers against each other was a travesty. Truth be told, it wasn’t on purpose. Rankings are rankings and this is just how it panned out. The result was an absolute classic.

Side note: Since this game was played in Utah is it too easy and classless to say that the player’s wife section took up more than half the stadium?….nahhh.

Many thought this game would go to Utah since Boise was playing away from the Smurf Turf. Head coach Chris Peterson had other ways to motivate his team, though. The pregame look-in on the Broncos locker room showed him screaming “Utah almost lost to Michigan to open the season! They almost lost to Michigan!”

That in itself appeared to be enough to get the Broncos out on the right foot. Ian Johnson uncorked a 43 yard touchdown run, and directly served divorce papers to the same cheerleader he asked to marry him after the Oklahoma upset. Boise and Utah traded field goals to close out the half 10-3, Broncos.

Defense was the name of the game in the second half with each team keeping the other scoreless until the final 1:45 in the fourth quarter.  Senior quarterback Brian Johnson led an Elway-like 2 minute drill that resulted in a game tying touchdown pass to Brent Casteel with :18 left.

Each team matched touchdowns in the first overtime and field goals in the second to keep the game knotted at 20. Boise wasted no time in the third overtime with Ian Johnson scoring on the exact same Statue of Liberty play that netted them the Oklahoma upset. In a move that etched his place in history, Johnson tore up the divorce papers. Boise nailed the mandatory two point conversion.

Utah wasted no time getting back into the end zone, scoring on the first play with an end around to Freddie Brown. Then, when Brown found himself wide open in the back left corner of the end zone for the tying two point play, he inexplicably dropped a Brian Johnson pass that hit him between the numbers.

Boise State ran of the field to celebrate their 28-26 triple overtime win while Utah was left standing in utter disbelief.

(5) USC v. (12) Cincinnati:

Trojans! Bear Cats! 11:00 p.m. Kickoff! Is anybody watching?? 

After Boise State’s thriller, this game took on the feel of a side-stage band trying to keep fans interested during Led Zeppelin’s first intermission.  It rarely works out well.

But the game was played. Cincinnati wasn’t used to playing meaningful football games, period.  USC wasn’t used to playing a non-Big Ten team in Pasadena this late in the year. It was dark territory for both squads.

Each team had honorary captains for the coin-toss. USC had Reggie Bush, Marcus Allen, Carson Palmer, and a completely blank mannequin wearing a #32 jersey…for that great running back that nobody wants to mention. The Bearcats had Kenyon Martin… because they’ve never had a relevant football player.

It was argued by some analysts that USC was the best team in the country and only had one bad loss to a team that was better than most people thought. It sure looked that way in the first half with Mark “don’t call me dirty” Sanchez connecting for two touchdowns with running back Stafon Johnson. Cincinnati could only muster a field goal while working their two minute offense before the half to keep it at a reasonable 17-3.

In the second half, it looked as though Brian Kelly’s Bearcats would make a game of it when Tony Pike hooked up with Marshwan Gilyard to make it 17-10. A Damian Williams fumble led to a Bearcat field goal that closed the gap to 4.

From there, the Trojans defense locked it up and allowed the offense to run Cincinnati into the ground. USC slowly pulled away to win 27-13 as the sun began to rise on the east coast.

Later today: The Saturday triple header!

Note: If you’d like to be added to the cheapseats mailing list, please send an email to jenkins3481@yahoo.com you will be updated when new posts are put on-line. Thank you for your support.

Another reason you need to love a college football playoff?

Less waiting!

That’s right: Instead of 31 days of pretending to watch college basketball like you aren’t constantly thinking about that nagging hammy on your running back, you wait, at most five…that’s it! You barely even have enough time to get worked up about this kind of stuff!

Since there are so many games to contend with, the first round would take place over three days: Two games on Thursday; Three on Friday and Saturday. Simple right?

Of course Fox would set the game times to maximize ratings. So, naturally, they are going to keep the “big draw/ big interest” games for the weekend power slots. Not because major college sports is a big money business or anything…but because they want the most people watching the game for its ability to bring families and friends together…right??…right??

So, the Thursday matchups come about and the 7:00 game brings about the first “meh” matchup of the evening.

(4) Alabama v. (13) Virginia Tech:

The good folks at Fox like to tease, so they put a game with some decent names in the early slot to draw your attention. In reality, this is a matchup of two teams that never expected to be here. For Alabama, it was just for short quarters against Florida ago that they were dreaming of a 1 seed and a sure fire win against Troy. The Hokies got off to a rocky start with a loss to East Carolina and were essentially written off. But while the entire country was busy falling in love with the ”you don’t want to play these guys in a bowl game” Boston College Eagles, Va Tech managed to squeak past them in the ACC championship game…Yup, they play football in that conference too!

In game action, the Hokies never really stood a chance. Nick Saban and the Tide came out with a chip on their shoulder and in front of a home crowd jumped out to a 24-0 lead at the half on the heels of two Glen Coffee Touchdowns.

At the half, Saban was offered two cans of Squirt and a life-time supply of Dipsey-Doddles to go sweep floors at Grover Cleveland School in Buffalo. He gladly accepted and left on the spot…Hey, that’s how scumbags roll.

Even with the advantage of a coach, the Hokies could only muster 10 points with an offense that was the team’s weakness all year. ’Bama rolled over the Hokies 27-10.

The shame of it all for Fox was this: The best television they had had all year was about to happen in the 10:30 game. There was some minor outrage about a game being on so late for the east coast, but Fox never listened to it when it came to the baseball playoffs either, so they just went about their business.

(6) Texas Tech v. (11) Texas Christian:

TCU was the last team to get in to the tournament, which, in its first year is pretty fitting that they beat out a bunch of big time teams to make it.  Texas Tech, on the other had, wasn’t happy at all to be here; a six seed when their landmark win during the year was over the 3 seed. But at least they still got their shot.

You’d think both these teams left their defense in their other pants for this game. I swear. But I promise you, there were, in fact, 11 players on the opposing side of the line of scrimmage for each and every play…I promise.

Each team came out throwing bombs like they were trying to show what Gatti v. Ward would’ve looked like if it took place on a football field. After the first four offensive possessions, the two teams had combined for six rushing attempts…six!! At that point, two things became clear: 1) Wearing down the opponent’s defense wasn’t going to be much of an issue, and 2) The first team to kick a field goal just might lose this thing. Graham Harrell and Andy Dalton had combined for 580 yards passing and eight touchdowns for a 28-28 tie going into the half.

With an absolute shoot out already assured, Mike Leach threw Michael Crabtree out to take the opening kick for craps and laughs. As if it were a shock, Crabtree ran it back for a 35-28 lead. The two teams went back and forth for the rest of the game making sure that their running backs did little more than collect dust. The Red Raiders managed to score last to make it 63-56, which meant they ended up advancing. Anybody that saw the game was hard pressed to say TCU lost this game that nobody wanted to end. Sadly, they just ran out of time. Thankfully, even in loss, they managed to score one for the mid-majors.

And just like that, Fox was kicking themselves in the crotch for putting the “money” game on at 10:30. They say they lost millions…er…are upset at the relationships that could’ve prospered over the course of such a great game.

Tomorrow: Friday’s triple-header. 

So I got to thinking not long after stepping down off of my soapbox about the college playoff and this is what I came up with:

Screw the BCS and its stupid selection show! If I can’t get college football playoff satisfaction in real life, well then I’ll just have to make it up!

So instead of BCS selection day, it’s just football’s Selection Sunday up here in the Cheap Seats.

After sitting through Terry Bradshaw, Kurt Menefee, Howie Long, Jimmy Johnson, Michael Strahan, Y.A Tittle, 15 3rd grade teachers, the head of the Teamsters and Chelsea Clinton get through the day’s NFL highlights, Fox butters up Barry Switzer and shoe horns him into the studio with the rest of the crew to release the FBS playoff selection.  The local fire marshall says two people have to go to keep in fire code. An American Idol - type vote takes place. Clinton and Tittle get the boot. Keep in mind, 11 of the 16 openings have already been filled. It’s really just a question of seeding and those 5 pesky at large bids.

Fox teases us with quick live look-ins at Buffalo, Florida, Utah and Texas as the teams wait to see when and where they will be playing. Fox goes to a commercial break in which Toyota finally beats me to the point where I decide to be ”Saved by Zero.”

Fox is back. Barry’s confused and keeps forgetting he’s on TV. You don’t notice because the leader of the Teamsters is hitting on two of those 3rd grade teachers. Either way, the show plods along with fake laughter and mumbling Barry until the seeds and games are released.

They start with the 8-9 game and what we commonly refer to as “mid-on-mid crime” in March happens in December:

(8) Utah v. (9) Boise State: 

Barry Switzer drools all over his tie while Jimmy Johnson makes another “you’re welcome for the Super Bowl ring” quip. Everyone analyzes the crap out the match up of two unbeaten teams too early in the tournament but says it should be the best game of the first round. The consensus is that Utah ekes it out on their home field based on being the higher seeded conference champion. (That’s right. First round games are played on campus just because it would be cool.) Barry Switzer says he likes falafel.

Moving on to the 7-10 game.

(7)Penn State v. (10)OhioState:

It’s a rematch of a game that was close the first time, but since Daryll Clark got hurt you can’t count on anything. Strahan makes a comment about how this is perfect because the Big Ten can’t beat anybody but themselves. Everybody laughs. Teamsters’ guy is discussing the social impact of Smokey and the Bandit to the teachers. Most have lost interest. The oldest single one is still fake laughing. Analysts remember that the sweater vest wins everything but post-season games and tabs Penn State and Joe-Pa as the favorite.

The show leads into its second commercial break with quick shots of Tim Tebow and his fake smile since he already knows where he’s going…Half the country breaks their telvisions and lights their hair on fire to prevent being “Saved by Zeeerrrroooo!”  

As the show comes back Barry Switzer is still trying to convince the staff that he honestly didn’t know that there was a fully loaded gun in his carry on!

The show drags on to the 6-11 match up:

(6) Texas Tech v. (11) Texas Christian: 

There’s some rambling on about this being the first matchup of two at large teams. There’s some more about two teams that are all offense and no defense. Strahan starts pointing at the camera and screaming “Take the over, baby! Take…the…over!!! Insert bad joke about Jimmy Johnson’s hair here.

The group moves along.

(5) USC v. (12) Cincinnati:

Jokes circle around about The Big East being “The Big Least.” There’s a contest with the 3rd grade teachers trying to write Cincinnati on a chalk board.  Only two get it right. Barry Switzer claims “he just doesn’t see any way that the Bearcats come away with a win here.” Everyone nods in shocking agreement at Barry’s incredibly valid point.

The second commercial break brings back John Mellencamp’s This is our Country ad for Chevy Trucks. The suicide rate in the country triples.

Back to the show and…

(4) Alabama v. (13) Virginia Tech:

Everybody praises Nick Saban’s work at ‘Bama and has completely forgotten that he has scumbagged his way out of countless coaching positions to get there. Good for him. Somebody makes a Bear Bryant reference.

(3) Texas v. (14) East Carolina:

An interview with Mac Brown reveals that he is just “thankful for the opportunity to be playing in such a great system.” Nobody gives Skip Holtz and ECU a chance.

A commercial break comes and goes with no car commercials. Those that are still alive celebrate with Champaign showers.

Up against the clock, the selection team gets right back to work.

(2) Oklahoma v. (15) Buffalo:

Camera crews show Turner Gill’s team going absolutely nuts. Turner gives his always classy interview and says that “UB will be ready to play and they are happy to be here.” Howie Long notes that Buffalo’s senior quarterback is so accurate he could throw one right between the gap in Michael’s teeth. Barry points at the OU logo and screams, “Hey!!! I used to coach there!!”

(1) Florida v. (16) Troy:

Jimmy Johnson isn’t entirely sure why they are even playing this game. To be honest, nobody is. Terry Bradshaw begins mumbling about teammates he had named 
Troy as the world yearns for one of those Barry Switzer comments that now just seems brilliant by comparison. 

Kurt Menefee begins to cry a little bit before recapping the seeds and games and reminds everyone that games will start the following Saturday. As the camera begins to pan away with credits rolling Terry yells out in his southern drawl, “Now don’t you guys think it would make so much more sense if we just had a bunch of computers and polls decide the top two teams are and just have them play?”

Everybody laughs…

…And we all throw up in our mouths just a bit…

Check back later this week to see what happens in the first round.

This is not my personal take on a how a college playoff would work. I don’t reinvent the wheel…ever. I just present commonly held thoughts in ways that make people question my sanity. I like to keep things simple.

That being said, I’m not drafting up any sort of new idea when it comes to a college football playoff system. It’s all been done and everybody has differing opinions as to what would work best. What we can all agree on–with the glaring exception of John Saunders, most conference presidents, drug addicts and people with severe head trauma–is that the current set up sucks and a plus one system would only suck slightly less.

Sure, that remaining 1% will tell you that a playoff format compromises the sanctity of the regular season.When confronted with this argument, throw back your head in laughter, call them a simple minded fool, punch them in the face, and offer up this simple example:

Tomorrow’s MAC Championship Game in Detroit. Unless every cosmic tumbler falls into place, this game is essentially meaningless.

As it stands right now, both teams are more or less locked into the bowl games they will be attending. Win or lose, there is a better than 95% chance that Buffalo plays in the International Bowl in Toronto and Ball State plays in the Motor City Bowl in Detroit. All that changes is the lettering on the T-shirts and banners that hang in the school’s basketball arena.

Ball State wins and they still don’t have a perfect season unless they win their bowl game and they are too far out to catch a BCS bid…too many teams have to lose that just won’t or just aren’t playing.

Buffalo wins and they lock up their first winning season as an FBS squad. That’s literally it. You’d think a conference championship would mean a bit more in a system that is supposed to maintain the importance of the regular season.

Now consider this:

Under a sixteen team playoff system that includes all conference champs and five at large/ independent bids, this game takes on a whole new blush. It’s the play-in game from the basketball but on steroids. And not asthma inhaler steroids either. I’m talking Ben Johnson and Marion Jones steroids.

Now, this game becomes an extension of the playoff bracket. It means everything. It means admission to the main party, or a bowl game ticket to the kiddie table.

Ball State wins and they get a reasonably decent seed and a chance to not only continue their undefeated season but to also prove their national worth.

Buffalo wins and it’s an Earth shattering upset. It becomes the story of the little engine that was never supposed to actually doing it. It becomes the ultimate feel good story of college football and makes Boise State over Oklahoma look like Old Yeller by comparison. A city with many heroes to herald but never a champion to celebrate would rally behind a team they hardly knew existed. They wouldn’t even worry about the fact that they would be, at best, the 14 seed and probably get blasted out of the stadium by a powerhouse like Texas. In either event, both teams look back on the MAC championship as one of if not the single largest game in the school’s history. The playoff atmosphere would be borderline insane on both campuses.

And this is just one of the conference championship games! One!! How does this ruin the sanctity of the regular season??

But all of this only happens if there was a playoff.

Like my Grandfather used to say: “If the Queen had balls…she’d be the king.”

And until the higher ups in the BCS figure out how to be Kings, we all lose out.

But just imagine what could happen…

If you’re reading this, it is probably the first legitimate confirmation that I am not dead in nearly a year.

For those of you that haven’t yet had the pleasure of having my mildly disturbing views forced upon you, I apologize. More importantly, I hope you visit as frequently as humanly possible.

To give you fair warning: If you want unbiased opinions about every team with expert, in depth analysis, you should probably tune in to any outlet of the ESPN family. Instead, it’s best you view this as in a similar light to an episode of Always Sunny in
Philadelphia. You’ll laugh; hopefully be entertained; and ultimately leave here with no real sense of accomplishment, movement or self improvement.

Once again, I hope you manage to make it back to waste a bit more time with me.That being said, I think the best way to gently de-flower the newbies while re-engaging the seasoned vets is to blast through a set of hits from the blog. Now it’s been a while, so we have some catching up to do……and I have some gloating to do because…

• Buffalo is going to a Bowl Game!! : That’s right. You read that correctly. The University at Buffalo is going to a legitimate bowl game this year! They’re even playing another college football team! I know!! I don’t believe it either!! I can’t even stop yelling about it!! Sure, we’re probably going to lose our coach Turner Gill within the next year to a “real” football program…Of course the current post-season set up makes their conference championship game against Ball State this Friday essentially meaningless…But I can’t be bothered by any of that now. Nor can any other fan that sat in that empty stadium through the one and two win seasons. This is what we were promised when the school made the jump to the FBS: A bowl game. And now we have it. We’ll worry about and FBS play-off and landing another top-notch coach willing to work for peanuts later. The Buffalo Bulls are going bowling. What’s next? The Cubs winning the World Series?
• Gambling on the NFL is a great way to lose money: Seriously. If you’ve managed to win any money at all betting on the NFL this season, it’s by dumb luck. Spreads that should never be covered are being covered. Teams that look like Super Bowl players one week can’t beat a Pop Warner team the next. All-Pro wide receivers are shooting themselves in the leg with their own gun! There’s just no rational behind this! Just thinking about this makes me want to start bleeding out of my eyes!! Which is why I’m giving up on all of it. I’ll continue to talk about the NFL, but you won’t find one single ounce of analysis on here ever again. It’s impossible to analyze any of it! My prediction: Somebody’s going to win this damn season. I just can’t tell you who. We’ll dig deeper into this later…
• College Basketball is out of the gates: I’m not sure if I can state this any more clearly: If North Carolina won’t lose more than three games this year and one of those losses will not come in the tournament. They’re going to win this year running away. Everybody else should just quit and save themselves the time and effort. While we’re on the topic…
• Every scout in the ACC should be fired immediately: Not one scout looked at Stephen Curry and wanted to even take a flier on this kid? Really? Kids this good don’t just slip through the cracks, and thanks to every ACC school, Curry is now on a mission to destroy every school that is bigger than Davidson…and he just might.
• Sigh…The Cubs…: Do I really need to say anymore? It’s the Cubs! I’ve been asked more than a few times when I’m finally going to give up on this team. After 101 years, it seems like a pretty valid question. But hey…
• Buffalo is going to a bowl game!

Sorry. I’m still having way too much fun with this…